May 23,2011. I woke up to get ready for my doctors appointment. Today we would find out if we were having a boy or a girl. That morning the song “if I die young” played 3 times on the radio,but I didn’t think much about it. We took our oldest son with us. He was so excited.

At the doctors office they let my son put the gel on my belly. The Ultra Sound tech looked for a minute and then said the doctor will be in to talk to you in a minute. That’s when they told us there was no heartbeat and they didn’t know why. I collapsed and my little boy started to cry uncontrollably.  My husband was in shock. They took me to labor and delivery.

13 hours later at 6:36am on May,24, 2011 there he was. My little angel Landyn Lewis Ruble. They told me he passed because of a cord accident. He had twisted his cord three times cutting off blood flow from the placenta. Other than that he was perfect. The doctor had no explanation except to say that he was a very active baby and it was too much too soon. Oct. 8th was supposed to be my due date. I’m better,but I’m not ok.

Landyn if I could tell you anything it is that I feel like I failed you. I couldn’t keep you safe and I’m so sorry. I love you more than words. You have an amazing big brother here on earth that is devastated that you’re gone. Daddy hides his pain to be strong for mommy. Our lives will never be the same. We miss you so much pumpkin. ♥


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s